9 posts tagged “yod”

It's Yod Day, part 2!

http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/National...

According to Sesame Street Magazine, October 15th is National Grouch Day -- a day for all Grouches to celebrate their way of life. A Grouch's mission in life is to be as miserable and grouchy as possible, and pass that feeling on to everyone else. ...

Yod the Grouch, Grump, Crank, Crab, Misanthrope, Churl...  the list can go on! Celebrate National Grouch Day today!

psssst... it's I CAN HAS YODBURGER?'s birthday today!!

This little meme lists 100 foods from the mundane to the strange.

Directions:

• Copy the list to your own blog
• Bold any items that you have consumed
• Star (*) any items that you love/consume regularly
• Cross out any items you would never consider even trying
  

(Bonus, I'm going to mark those things I've tried only as a direct result of meeting and associating with Yod with a +)

The List:

1. Venison*
2. Nettle tea (tastes like Camphophonique)
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare* +
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue*
8. Carp (as Gefilte fish) +
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush +
11. Calamari*
12. Pho*
13. PB&J sandwich*
14. Aloo gobi +
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle* +
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes*
19. Steamed pork buns*
20. Pistachio ice cream*
21. Heirloom tomatoes*
22. Fresh wild berries*
23. Foie gras* +  (I've had "imitation" pre-Yod, but the real stuff with Yod)
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese* +
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche* +
28. Oysters*
29. Baklava*
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl*
33. Salted lassi +
34. Sauerkraut*
35. Root beer float*
36. Cognac with a fat cigar +
37. Clotted cream tea +
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O*
39. Gumbo+
40. Oxtail* +
41. Curried goat* +
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal +
44. Goat’s milk* +
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more +
46. Fugu +
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut +
50. Sea urchin +
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone*
54. Paneer* +
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal*
56. Spaetzle +
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV +
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores*
62. Sweetbreads* +
63. Kaolin (if you've ever taken Kaopectate, you've had this)
64. Currywurst
65. Durian*
66. Frogs’ legs +
67. Beignets*, churros*, elephant ears* or funnel cake*
68. Haggis*
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette +
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini* +
73. Louche absinthe +
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie *
78. Snails
79. Lapsang souchong* +
80. Lutefisk +
81. Tom yum* +
82. Eggs Benedict*
83. Pocky* +
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant (but would like to)
85. Kobe beef (but would like to)
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate (but I've had better -- and rarer!)
91. Spam*
92. Soft shell crab* +
93. Rose harissa* +
94. Catfish*
95. Mole poblano* +
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta*
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake +

As you can see, there is very little I won't eat... and very little on this list I haven't eaten.  And quite a bit of it has been all because of Yod.  Blame Yod!!

*edit - Yod reviewed my list and corrected a couple - I've had tea with clotted cream and kaolin in the form of Kaopectate, both of which were direct results of Yod

... with cleaning supplies!!!

I dedicate this song to Yod (lyrics changed, see below):

I can see that it won't be long
Your mirror gets clean when you squeeze Windex on
You know we've cleaned
And now your desk is tidy
That's something you can't deny

I call, you're not at home
You're home, but you're not alone
If you wanna clean
Then why don't you say
I want the dirt gone anyway

 I know there's something going on
I know there's something going on
I know it won't be long
Won't be long before the dirt's gone
There's something going on
There's something going on 

 I know a messy thing
Must come to an end
But it's hard to believe
A clean apartment
I know what you think
And what's in your mind
So darling, why pretend

I know there's something going on
I know there's something going on
I know it won't be long
Won't be long before the dirt's gone
There's something going on
There's something going on

[Instrumental Interlude]

 I know there's something going on
I know there's something going on
I know it won't be long
Won't be long before the dirt's gone
There's something going on
There's something going on
There's something going on
There's something going on

if such a thing is possible...

As some of our mutual neighbors know, Yod bought his iPhone yesterday, completely disregarding my input and using up any and all good will he has built up since we started dating in late July 2004.  In addition, one of three conditions had to be met:  Yod had to do his chores, Yod had to wait until he saved the cost of the phone +tax +activation, or members of the Yod Hunt had to post the secret picture.  None of these conditions were met.

I'm not a mean person (really, I swear!), and some new rumors were flying around about the ablity to use the 999-99-9999 social security number and the pay-per-use plan at AT&T

Karma balance on Nov 3, 2007: 85,000 (low after 3.5 years due to much whining and many other karma expenses)
Early iPhone purchase: (100,000 karma) (due to level of problems caused to Jody)
Karma balance as of Nov 6, 2007: -15,000

So, I devised the following list of karma-building actions and items that Yod can do to work himself out of (Jody-specific) Karma debt.  If you think of any that I've missed, please post!!!

Low +Karma Activities (may be repeated)

¥      Take Jody clothes shopping, with absolutely no tude and no sighing (+300 karma)

¥      Make Jody a complete meal, including a protein AND vegetables, starches, and drink (+400 karma). If meal is DUCK or LAMB, add 100 karma

¥      Take Jody miniature golfing (+500 karma)

¥      Take Jody dancing (+500 karma)

¥      Take Jody to Apple Hill to pick apples (+ 500 karma)

¥      Do (censored) for/to Jody, as applicable (+500 karma)

Medium +Karma Activities

¥      Take Jody wine tasting in Napa Valley (+1000 karma) repeatable

¥      Introduce Jody to a new food or good eating establishment that she likes (+1000 karma)  repeatable

¥      Buff out the paint transfer on the front bumper of Jody’s car caused by Yod’s little “kiss” of the parking structure support (+1000 karma)

¥      Go to the dentist without being forcibly dragged (including making his own appointment) (+2000 karma)

High +Karma Activities (not repeatable)

¥      Clean the kitchen, including stove, microwave, floor, and oven (+2500 karma)

¥      Learn how to drive in California traffic so Jody doesn’t have drive everywhere all the time (+2500 karma)

¥      Clean, dust, and vacuum the living room & recycle all bottles/cans (+4500 karma)

¥      Clean the home office & recycle all bottles/cans (+4500 karma)

A few days ago, I posted a comment to Yod's blog regarding the iPhone and why I don't want one anywhere near me. 

...and 5) I hate Cingular/AT&T so much that I would require a full frontal lobotomy before going back to them.

I'm going to try to find my post detailing exactly why Cingular/AT&T can kiss my big white arse...

So the following letter was sent to Cingular detailing why I was cancelling service and refusing to pay any buyout amount on my contract (which they broke).  I ask, gentle reader, why Yod would want me to go through something similar with the "new" AT&T...

December 21, 2006

Cingular Wireless
PO BOX 60017
Los Angeles, CA 90060

RE: Account # X

Dear Cingular Wireless:

Let me preface this letter by stating that I was a customer of SBC, Cingular Wireless, and AT&T for many, many years.  I was a customer when SBC became Cingular Wireless in 2001.  During those years, I have had good service and not-so-good service... until recently, when Cingular Wireless failed to deliver on their promised services. 

First off, my name is not “Judy”.  Even though I signed up as “Jody” and everything I was given in the retail store was typed and printed as “Jody”, there are still references to a mysterious “Judy” on my account to this day.  My name is not “Judy”.  It has taken 3 trips to the store and 2 hours with customer service to get *most* references removed from my account, yet there is still a reference to “Judy” on my account.  If for no other reason, billing the incorrect name voided the contract I had with Cingular Wireless.  If you would like to go after “Judy” then you are welcome to since that is who you seem to think you entered into a contract with.  However, that problem is just the tip of the iceberg.

I added a second line to my account in November of 2004, through AT&T.  This was an area code 972 (Dallas, TX) number.  For simplicity, I will refer to this line as the “TX” line, or “old TX” line, while the (916) xxx-xxxx number will be the “CA” line, or main line, or the (916) line.  Now, when Cingular bought AT&T and offered to roll my account from AT&T just a month and a half later (for a nominal fee, mind you), I accepted the inevitable.  However, my account was unable to migrate due to being a family plan and the second line being in TX.  I was told that I could split the account and migrate each individually, then re-join the accounts.  This sounded fine to me, and we initiated the split.  After my main phone number was split and migrated to Cingular, I was informed that Dallas was not yet approved for migration from the FCC.  I would have to keep two accounts until FCC approval allowed the migration, paying nearly 50% more to have two lines since I couldn't un-roll the migration.

In March, 2005, I was in Dallas and went to a Cingular Wireless store to see what could be done in TX (versus CA).  I was told – nothing.  I spent another 2 hours on the phone while sitting in the TX Cingular Wireless store, while the employees did not offer to help.  Matter of fact, I started to explain my situation to the store employee and she rolled her eyes at me and just pointed to the Customer Service "white" phone.  After sitting on the phone for nearly two hours, I found out that the old TX line could be migrated and merged, and approved that action.  Once the second line was migrated, I was told that I still could not merge it because it was a TX number and my account was a CA number.  Since that phone was coming back to CA with me, I no longer needed the TX number.  I changed the number to a CA number, and then re-merged the accounts. 

I continue to be billed for service on the disconnected old TX number.  I continue to get email reminders and statements on this account.  Each time I call, I am told that the account is not active, and the representative is not sure why I am being billed.  I have spoken to no less than 5 agents on different occasions to get this billing issue fixed, to no avail.  Why would I continue to be billed for a line that is not active and was migrated nearly a year ago?! 

Another issue happened when I was in Texas in March 2005.  With the newly migrated Cingular Wireless account, I was able to purchase a new phone.  I chose an upgrade from the base model, added MEdia Net upgraded service on the old TX line, and put insurance on both phone lines.  However, my main (916) number mysteriously lost the ability to send text or picture messages at all.  When I called to correct this, I found out that my phone had been put on text and media block.  I asked to have my phone put back on a per-use charge, but instead, both phones went to pay-per-use – even though the old TX phone was still being charged for MEdia Net.  So, I was getting billed for pay-per-use AND MEdia Net on the TX line.  I called again to get it corrected and my bill credited.  The (916) phone was able to send pay-per-use, but the old TX line was not able to send anything at all.  I called again, removed MEdia Net, and put both phones to pay-per-use since it was obvious that Cingular Wireless was unable to set up the phones or bill them correctly.  Then, when I lost my phone in August of 2005, I was informed that the insurance I purchased was never applied to my account, and thus had to purchase a new phone completely out of pocket.  At this point, I was extremely unhappy with Cingular Wireless.  I wanted out of my contract since it was obvious that Cingular Wireless was unable to provide the service I paid for and bill me correctly for that service.  However, I wanted to keep my number and would have had to wait out the contract to do so.  I somehow convinced myself that it wasn’t “that bad”.

But the final straw was December, when my payment was applied to my account 3 days late and my service was interrupted.  I was current before December 16^th, 2005 (the due date for December), and my service was interrupted on December 19^th, 2005.  On December 20^th, 2005, I received a letter stating that if I did not pay $108.00 within 10 days, my service would be interrupted.  It had already been interrupted! 

My time with Cingular Wireless has ended up being unbearable.  Not only has the service degraded significantly since Cingular Wireless was formed from SBC, and then when Cingular Wireless and AT&T merged, but the billing department has rarely had a correct billing month in the nearly three years of me being a customer.  I have enclosed check #1179 for $108 to zero out the balance due on my account, at which time you will close my account and I will be done with Cingular Wireless.  Cingular Wireless has had ample opportunity to show me good service and good customer service.  Keeping a phone number I’ve had for 3 years is not worth staying with your company.  It is time to take my business elsewhere - for multiple contract violations, incorrect billing, the wrong name on my bill, and interrupting my service 13 days before the deadline you set.  I will dispute any disconnection or early termination charges that you try to charge to me.  Cingular Wireless broke my contract a long time ago when they couldn’t get even my name – let alone my bill – correct for months on end.  Since Cingular Wireless is already in non-compliance with their part of the contractual obligations, I have no reason to adhere to the terms of this now-defunct contract.  I do not owe you, Cingular Wireless, or anyone any money whatsoever.

Thank you and goodbye,

Jody X

Account #X

Happy birthday to Yod
Happy birthday to Yod
It's the one day of the year you have an excuse to be a birthday person!
Try not to piss everyone off!

Ok ok just kidding... happy 30th birthday, Snugglebums! 

Wish Yod a happy birthday here!

When I first heard that Paris Hilton was dating a guy named Paris, I thought, "How perfect for her! When she screams her own name during sex, like normal, her boyfriend will think she's screaming his name!"  ...or something like that.  (Yes, I know they're no longer a couple, but if they were, would they plan their wedding in Paris?)

And why do I bring this up now?  There is a silly email game "virus"ing itself around my office that is based on a children's book, Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor Poopypants forces everyone to assume new names.  Like the title of the book, the names are silly.

For example, I'm Cheesy Battyface, Yod is Cheesy Dippinsquirt, and both my sister and BiL have the same name, Dorfus Wafflelips. I commented how lucky my BiL is to have married a woman with the same (new) name, and he fired back, "We're like two peas in a pod. But you're one to talk, since you have the same first name as your boyfriend. :P"

Which got me thinking... how exactly did I end up with a guy with a nearly identical first name (letter-wise)?
See, Yod and I met online through a message board.  He stalked me because he liked what I had to say (hey, for all you people on the stalker letter group... don't believe him when he says he's not a real stalker!!), and we became friends.  However, I didn't know his given name until 6 months after we became a couple - he wouldn't tell me.  I only knew him by his board name, which has no letters in common with "Jody".   As (most of) you know, he hates his parents.  His given name is yet another reminder of them and their hijinks while he was growing up, so he went by his nickname, like Neo inistead of Mr. Anderson in the Matrix.  It was to the point that I almost believed that his name was his nickname.

Once, when we were still in the "friends" stage  I called his phone and got his voicemail.  He used his real name on his voicemail, but since I had no idea what it was, I thought he said "God".  I was thinking, "Wow, he's certainly full of himself, saying he's God!"

I finally learned his name because he was meeting my family and I refused to introduce him by his nickname.  I was like, "Seriously.. your name is Yod?  No way..." Which is made even funnier since my dad's nickname for me is "Yodish" (pronounced yo-dish, rather than yod-ish, though).

Go figure.

Sometimes, I bookmark/favorite pages and forget about them.  While cleaning out a not-often-used folder of favorites, I happened across this fun little applet from glassgiant.com that allows you to make your own Wanted poster.  I can't remember who or where I stole it from ... probably a fellow Voxer! ;-) 

I just made this one for Yod.  Make your own here!

Wanted: Ded or Uh-Live

Edit: Because Yod is such a grump, I made this one:

Wantedposter2