Even though this year will mark the 5th Christmas without my mom, I still miss her as much, if not more, than I did the first year. It's created an extra emotional burden in addition to the normal, pre-2004 ups and downs, joys and stresses of the holiday season. I know I'm not unique in missing a parent, but for some reason it really isn't any easier for me. Time is not healing this wound so much. In addition, yesterday was the memorial service for a friend's husband, who finally succumbed to Alzheimer's last week. A very important woman in my life is battling ovarian cancer (and winning, thank God, but it is still difficult -- can you guess who her ghostwriter is? ha ha). And Christmas is my mostest favoritest holiday ever, but the recession means all everyone seems to talk about is money, which is depressing for two reasons. First off, because Christmas, or any holidays this month, are not about money, but about friends and family. Second off, because it sucks having less money available to celebrate Christmas.
Anyway, like I said, emotional. Me. Very much so. (And no, I'm not pregnant)
However, with all these other emotional things competing with my tears, I take extreme exception to my Zune for it is conspiring to make me cry at work.
Since my mother has been on my mind so much, I have been dreaming of her, alive. My imagination has created her as an independent woman, as if my parents divorced, and she comes in and out of scenes, especially when I need her most. It's actually quite soothing, if a little disconcerting to me at first (we usually have some sort of conversation about her cancer and death before I accept that she's "there"), and I kind of look forward to my dreams now. It's the only place I get to spend time with her.
My Zune though... argh.
There are songs that make me cry at the drop of a hat. Ok, don't ask me why I even have them on my Zune, because I can only tell you that, while listening to them makes me cry, not having them available makes me sad.
One of these songs is "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" from The Wizard of Oz. That was "our" movie, my mom's and mine. (Note to anyone who needs a great gift for me, pick something from Wizard of Oz, especially with the Cowardly Lion and/or Dorothy) Thus, the theme song is an overwhelming reminder of her.
Another is "Tears in Heaven" by Eric Clapton. Then, the upbeat "All I Have to Do is Dream" by The Everly Brothers, in light of my recent dreams, again reminds me of her. And the worse, most emotionally-wrenching, hardest-to-listen-to song of them all is "This Woman's Work" by Kate Bush. You might remember this if you've watched She's Having a Baby. It's a song about fear, hope, and regrets. Kevin Bacon's character goes through all the great memories with his wife in the scene: I do the same with my memories of my mom.
So, of course... I decide to drown out the sounds of my co-workers and set my Zune to random. Out of the over 500 songs available, the first song is "This Woman's Work". I can't take it, so I skip to the next song: "All I Have to Do is Dream". Argh... fine. Skip - Cake's "Never There" is upbeat enough, but dammit, is this a theme? Cyndi Lauper's voice sings the first verse of "Time After Time" ... Lying in my bed I hear the clock ticking, think of you... Skip. "Surfer Girl" by the Beach Boys, yet another song that reminds me of my mom. Coldplay, "42"... Those who are dead are not dead they're just living in my head...
So the Zune is turned off and I'm listening to the clackity-clack of keyboards and the low rumble of co-workers discussing business, the weekend, and everything in between.
Sigh.
And we'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on
Aliright don't worry even if things end up a bit to heavy
We'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Ok don't worry we'll all float on
Even if things get heavy we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Don't you worry we'll all float on
All float on
Holiday Personality QuizJimmy Stewart: You're a traditionalist, a humanist, and an all-around good guy. That's why everyone adores you. Like the original Jimmy, you tend to be somewhat folksy and plain-spoken. You value family, friends, and even your neighbors. You don't need to watch out for anything -- you're an American icon!Take the quiz: Holiday Personality Quiz |
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Your result for The Twelve Days of Christmas Personality Quiz...
You are the Eighth Day of Christmas
Eight Maids A-Milking

In Christian symbolism, milk represents spiritual nourishment.
You might consider giving Christmas cards with dairy cows or milkmaids.
Take The Twelve Days of Christmas Personality Quiz at HelloQuizzy
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Your result for The Christmas Symbol Personality Quiz:
The Christmas Tree
Take The Christmas Symbol Personality Quiz
I'm sure I've posted this before, but I'm the polar opposite of a Macophile. I use an HP computer/monitor/printer and a BlackBerry phone. However, I was starting to get frustrated with my BlackBerry 8700g (the same phone Obama uses) after seeing all the fun that Yod has with his phone. Plus, the 8700g does not have a camera and asking Yod to take pics with his cameraphone was getting embarrassing.
Then I heard about the Bold. It would solve a lot of little dissatisfactions I had with the 3700g. I'd get a trackwheel, camera, GPS, and 3G data, but I'd have to go to the Dark Side (i.e., go back to AT&T) and I wasn't quite ready for that frontal lobotomy. Enter the Storm. You've seen the commercials for the Storm, the touch screen that clicks. All I can say is ... oh... my... yes yes yes yes!
I'm one of the few, the proud, the Storm owners. But my tale is about luck, not foreseight. About a lot of driving. And about how awesome Best Buy can be. ;)
The Storm released last Friday (Nov 21). I missed the pre-order window, or more correctly, didn't even know there was a pre-order window and still wasn't sure if I wanted to get a new release phone. Some time between the 10th and the 21st, I realized that the Storm was for me. Probably their evil advertising campaign.
I spoke to a Verizon rep in Best Buy Citrus Heights on Thursday and he said that they "should" have enough ordered for demand on Friday. But I couldn't make it in when they opened because I had a meeting in Roseville 30 from 9 to 10:30. After my meeting, I rushed out to Best Buy Roseville only to be told that they didn't have enough to sell, only enough for pre-orders, but to check back on Saturday just in case they got another shipment. Hm.
Well, I was willing to wait, but Yod decided to call the Best Buy in Citrus Heights. They had 6. I was thinking of waiting until after work to get one since it would be an hour drive round-trip, plus set-up time. Instead, we drove back to Citrus Heights and walked in to Best Buy.
At the Mobile Phone counter, I told the lady (Jasmine) that I wanted to buy a Storm. She asked if I had a pre-order, I said no. She said they didn't have any. I whined (I admit it) that we just called and the operator said you had 6. The other rep at the counter took it upon himself to do a little footwork and came back with a total poker face. I was all set for disappointment when he got the keys to the phone cabinet, unlocked the case (still with the poker face, mind you) and pulled out a box. Then broke into a smile and said that they receied a shipment that morning of 6, but 5 were set for pre-orders and I could have the other one. YAY!
As I was sitting there getting set up on Verizon, one person called in and three people came up to the counter looking for the Storm. If I had waited even a few minutes, I would've been turned away, too. Or, if I had talked to the mobile phone center instead of the operator, I wouldn't have even made the trip. A combination of luck and perseverence made my Stormy dreams come true on launch day!
This phone is soooooooooo nice. I still am getting used to typing and selecting on a touch screen, but I've only had it for a couple days. Even Yod likes the touch-click screen better because of that sound and feel feedback.
There are still some bugs to work out, but if you're looking for a viable alternative to the iPhone, give the Storm a try. Well, when they get more in stock. Which might not be until December 15th.
Damn, I'm lucky!
How I'm feeling right now, for no particular reason. I <3 this song regardless!
If for some reason YouTube is being a Polly Prissypants again, here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjNmnG_Eppk
It's Election Day! How was your voting experience?
I'm a permanent absentee, so I filled out my ballot last night and hand-delivered it today while Yod was getting his vote on. I wish I had photocopied my ballot before I filled it out. I took way too much pleasure voting No on Prop 8 (the one that enforces hypocritical Puritan laws on homosexual couples by taking away their right to enter into a legal contract with one another called "marriage") and wish I could've just sat there tonight filling in the NO circle over and over.
There were no lines at the polling place, which, in Sacto, tends to be at some retirement home/"adult living complex". I'm nervous for the results to come out. Hopefully the rest of America isn't as crappy as Yod assumes they will be...
I <3 Cake. :)
In case the embedded vid doesn't work, try this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuwoxWQE2Tw
Note: This is just some random person's video and obviously not the actual Cake band. But it's done pretty well!
Seriously.
I get so many random people coming up to me asking me random-ass questions that I have to wonder. In my personal and work life, people ask me about stuff all the time because I either know or am willing to do some research to find out. That is understandable since they know me and know I'm usually (too) willing to help.
But perfect strangers? I just don't get it.
On Tuesday, I needed to stop at the store for some essentials (milk, soda, and toilet paper) and non-essentials (hey tri-tip was like 60% off!). I was in the store for a total of 45 minutes. I was shopping for maybe 15 of them. Why? Two, yes TWO, random never-seen-before-in-my-life strangers needed help with finding items and making shopping decisions. I suppose I could've just said no and gone on my merry way, but that isn't who I am.
The first person was a woman who needed tortilla chips for some party. The store is set up all wonky, so unless you know where the chip aisle is hiding (between the freezer and the alcohol sections.... yeah told you it was wonky), you could wander the more reasonable areas and never find the actual chip display. Before you ask if I looked like a store employee, I was wearing running pants and a white t-shirt pushing a cart full of my groceries. I had no name tag and was half-asleep on my feet. Yet she still felt that I would be a better bet than tracking down an actual store employee.
Next, this ....altered man asked for my help in the fresh meat section. I do have to thank him for the tri-tip, though, so I guess the 30 minutes I spent talking to him wasn't a total bust. He first wanted to know if I knew where the filet mignons were, and I was able to find a couple filets for him. Unfortunately, that particular cut is rather spendy, so he balked. I kept asking what he wanted it for, tried to give him the best cut for his moolah and what would be within his budget. He didn't want NY strip or rib-eye or... there was "not enough meat" and "that isn't enough to even feed (him)". I noticed the tri-tip was on sale for $2.99/lb, which is insane, plus it was untrimmed, which meant it would cook into a delicious, moist, and flavorful cut of beef. I finally pried out of him that he wanted to "show up his ex" and "impress his kids" by giving them an expensive steak. He kept going back to the gd london broil, even though I told him that it wasn't a very delicious cut. Anyway, I finally got him out of there with a tri-tip and two london broils (against my many arguments).
Yod says it's because I don't walk around with a scowl on my face. I still have no idea.
But dammit, Safeway owes me a commission!
While driving, what's your biggest pet peeve?
Submitted by Alexandra
Hmmm this is a tough one. There are two that drive me batty.
- The Roving Roadblock: Cars going about the same speed drive along, blocking all lanes of traffic to that speed. You think one is about to speed up or slow down so you can get by, but alas, it catches back up to the roadblock. No matter which lane you choose, you cannot get around.
- Lazy Turner: Cars that must slow down to 5mph to turn right, or cars that cannot accelerate past 5mph to turn left.
I can feel my blood pressure rising just talking about them...