The iYod Penance
if such a thing is possible...
As some of our mutual neighbors know, Yod bought his iPhone yesterday, completely disregarding my input and using up any and all good will he has built up since we started dating in late July 2004. In addition, one of three conditions had to be met: Yod had to do his chores, Yod had to wait until he saved the cost of the phone +tax +activation, or members of the Yod Hunt had to post the secret picture. None of these conditions were met.
I'm not a mean person (really, I swear!), and some new rumors were flying around about the ablity to use the 999-99-9999 social security number and the pay-per-use plan at AT&T
Karma balance on Nov 3, 2007: 85,000 (low after 3.5 years due to much whining and many other karma expenses)
Early iPhone purchase: (100,000 karma) (due to level of problems caused to Jody)
Karma balance as of Nov 6, 2007: -15,000
So, I devised the following list of karma-building actions and items that Yod can do to work himself out of (Jody-specific) Karma debt. If you think of any that I've missed, please post!!!
Low +Karma Activities (may be repeated)
¥ Take Jody clothes shopping, with absolutely no tude and no sighing (+300 karma)
¥ Make Jody a complete meal, including a protein AND vegetables, starches, and drink (+400 karma). If meal is DUCK or LAMB, add 100 karma
¥ Take Jody miniature golfing (+500 karma)
¥ Take Jody dancing (+500 karma)
¥ Take Jody to Apple Hill to pick apples (+ 500 karma)
¥ Do (censored) for/to Jody, as applicable (+500 karma)
Medium +Karma Activities
¥ Take Jody wine tasting in Napa Valley (+1000 karma) repeatable
¥ Introduce Jody to a new food or good eating establishment that she likes (+1000 karma) repeatable
¥ Buff out the paint transfer on the front bumper of Jody’s car caused by Yod’s little “kiss” of the parking structure support (+1000 karma)
¥ Go to the dentist without being forcibly dragged (including making his own appointment) (+2000 karma)
High +Karma Activities (not repeatable)
¥ Clean the kitchen, including stove, microwave, floor, and oven (+2500 karma)
¥ Learn how to drive in California traffic so Jody doesn’t have drive everywhere all the time (+2500 karma)
¥ Clean, dust, and vacuum the living room & recycle all bottles/cans (+4500 karma)
¥ Clean the home office & recycle all bottles/cans (+4500 karma)
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Comments
Oh, he SO took the fun out of the iYod Hunt! I haven't been posting much to it, but maybe I should just boycott it altogether!
Is there a specific reason you are so against it, other than the cost and the abovementioned items he had to do before he bought one?
Maybe you can turn the monkeys against him in revolt....I'm sure they are very disappointed.
Bad, bad Yod!
Yikes, this man is in trouble now....hmm did you copy the post to him?
Anyway, not sure any of the above is enough to reduce the deficit Karma. I vote for a sorry card, expensive dinner with expensive tasteful wine and some serious jewelry of your choice. Make the YOD pay!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Most of these things are things that I have to whine about him doing. The stipulation is that he does them without me having to nag. I'm tired of nagging. I hate nagging. I have yet to find a way to get him to do his chores or to be spontaneous and romantic in certain ways. For example, he cooks for me a lot... but he only makes the main course. So I get a 12 oz. steak and no vegetables or any sides. He's been wanting to go miniature golfing since we moved (yes, nearly 2 years ago), but it's always too hot, or too crowded, or too windy, or too cold, or ... He's got a chore list, but instead of doing it, he lets it all pile up until the job takes 10x as long, and I have to help. And he makes me drive everywhere because he drives like an Asian (i.e.,55 mph in the slow lane... tailgating the car in front of him instead of just going around). And he has a bad habit of promising to do things, and not following through (e.g, the bumper, which he mooshed about a month ago). So, while this list looks easy enough to do to pretty much everyone, it means Yod can't be a lazy whiny petulant child and has to actually be a contributing member of the maintenance of this living situation.
I'm digging the jewelry idea!!!
Cranky, I have moral issues with the way Apple has implemented the iPhone, and I have severe issues with Cingular/AT&T. See my post yesterday about what AT&T (Cingular) did to me when I was a paying customer...
I'm not alone, either. A lawyer-friend of mine found some info about pending lawsuits against Apple for unfair practices and AT&T for false advertising. We shall see!!
lmfao
I'm gonna go do, uh, whatever it is men in this situation do. I've heard it can involve stock cars and giant italicized numbers. Wait no, that was "sports event where Yod will stick out like a sore thumb"
Maybe I will go in the iWitness Protection Program.
They need to place me near a bunch of other Apple users. So that would probably mean Berkeley. Or maybe the Juicy Juice factory.
Later.
I love to cook, but I don't always put any effort into sides, and I HATE cleaning up afterwards.
Drives my D.H. insane.
Actually, my list would be a lot shorter.
+Karma 1bazillion: put toilet paper on roller
That'd do it!
Too: There's the sock collection under the bed. "When you remove your socks please try to put BOTH of them into the hamper."
Since none of these trying chores are on your list, Jody, I think Yod should man up to everything in order to qualify for consideration. We, as your posse, will be happy to attend the Karmic deliberation .
WhatEVER
You get to make up your relationship karma easily by fudging rolls during D&D. Or at least sending buff imps around.